‘Why don’t you two go out and play piggy-in-the-middle with the dogs?’ asked the frazzled mother, two months into the summer holiday (vacation) that she’s supposed never to want to end.

‘Piggy-in-the-middle?’ Child 3 put her hands on her hips and her upper lip curled like a leaf in the sun.

Child 2 wandered through the kitchen and took pity on his linguistically challenged parent. ‘It’s monkey-in-the-middle here, Mum.’

‘Ok, then. Why don’t you go outside and play monkey-in-the-middle with the dogs?’